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Screenplay: The Muppets Take Vietnam
This is my script for an All-Muppet production of Apocalypse Now. I’ve done my best to be faithful
to the Muppets, Francis Ford Coppola’s film, Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, the Vietnam War, Sesame Street, and a
few other bits of history and/or pop culture that were caught up in this as it snowballed into 10,000 words. Miss Piggy gets
the Marlon Brando role. Gonzo takes over for Dennis Hopper. Kermit swears a lot. No one gets killed, but not for kiddies.
This is a satire and is meant satirically. All copyrights remain the properties of their respective owners.
Vietnam War Copyright 1965 Lyndon B. Johnson.
click here to read The Muppets Take Vietnam!
Astounding Tales Stories
Here are two of the stories I wrote for Astounding Tales-dot-com.
It was a great site but all good things come to an end.
Enjoy!
Don't Shoot, it's Only Comics In-Joke Fun
If
you are unfamiliar with the publication 'Don't Shoot it's Only Comics', or Jef Taylor, or Rich Mackin, or the transmogrifying
rock-band The Deep Ones or the dazzling socialite Very Vicky, this link won't make much sense to you. But click it anyway,
what the hell!
Don't Shoot In-Joke Fun!
Eyetoy: Antigrav
That's right, I'm the 'Gerg' in the credits for the Playstation
2 game Eyetoy: Antigrav. I wrote the voice-over script (this means the things the racers yell at each other) and
worked as a tester through the late stages of the project. This was all tremendous fun and very exciting. Some people will
tell you that testing video games (those in the know call this ‘Quality Assurance’; the very cool know it
as just ‘QA’) is tax-reform law tedious and repetitive as the background in Hanna-Barbera cartoons, but I
say, not this game! Because we didn’t use controllers, not for Eyetoy: Antigrav. As the box says, YOU are the controller.
I could explain what that means, but believe me when I say this video is worth 1,000 words.
click here to play video!
After
several weeks of doing this several hours a day, I am several pounds lighter as well as a few inches taller.
Seriously,
this game is great fun and if you have a PS2, you should give it a go. It's ten kinds of cool to control a video game character
using your arms and head and the gameplay is addictive. It looks easy, but I have played Mountain using Phantom, and you
are not ready.
Bonus!
So maybe you have Eyetoy: Antigrav and you can't quite make out what the characters are saying
because you are too busy flailing your arms like Jim Carrey on ‘In Living Color’? Or, maybe you’re like
certain QA Technicians I worked with who hear clever, well-turned phrases as dirty, filthy things. Well, fret no more. Send
me your questions or what you think you heard, and I’ll let you know what’s really said.
And yes, Nomad IS 'Busting tricks like a
mint makes money.'
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